I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
