I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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