You can't motorboat a personality
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
