New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
