I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
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