If i come over, it means nothing
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize