I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
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