Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Are my feet made of real feet?
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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