Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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