You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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