I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
He called his prostate his "boner button".
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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