you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
