Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
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