My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
