He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
