yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
