i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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