Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
