ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
