I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
