Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
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