Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
