holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
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