I think i sorta joined a cult last night
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
