So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
