i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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