I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
