All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
