He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
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