While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
