So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize