My hair reeks of homosexuality.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
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