Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
my sisters under your porch take her home
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
