So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize