My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
