walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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