Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
