it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
