I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
