he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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