only if we run a train.
done.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize