She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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