Yo dont text me then not text me
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
