i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
