do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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