Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
