maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
