wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
he puts the penis in happiness.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
