Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Randomize