im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
