grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
