So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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