oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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