Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
