And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
where are my eyebrows?
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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