so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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