Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
well I can't set my house on fire every night
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize