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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
