You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
