My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Randomize
