Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Randomize
