You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
