I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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