is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize