Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
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