just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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