She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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