Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
