Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
