My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
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