fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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