No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize