I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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